What Is a True Vacation?

Happy 4th of July!

Now, What, exactly, is a vacation? To those companies who offer paid time off, leave, whatever it's called it is time away from work with full pay. How that time is used is entirely up the employee but what, exactly, is a "vacation?" Is it working on the house, planting the spring garden, going to see Grandma, catching up on Netflix or just laying on the beach for a few days?


For most of my adult life I've rarely gotten past the three-week vacation mark in terms of earned time off. I've had to squeeze in trips to visit the family over the holidays as well as weekenders to New Orleans and even London, England just to make it through the year. In each of those with so little time on the ground available to really relax and enjoy both people and place I would always come home as rushed as if it were just another day at the office. Anything in the way of big trips was saved for the end of the year when there were plenty of national holidays to tack on and stretch precious vacation time like breadcrumbs to meatloaf.


When I made it to four weeks I truly had no idea how I would use it all. The income doesn't always match the wish list of places to go and things to see and do, does it? I was actually reluctant to take time off if the only thing I could afford to do was sit at home. And herein lies a huge difference, so I'm told, between Americans and our European cousins where the latter would readily jump at the chance to get away from the office. Americans like me, on the other hand, can feel useless and worried for sitting around the house doing nothing while work piles up and we get behind with each passing day.


I've always maintained that a true vacation is being out of touch with those people, places and things that define both personal and professional life. Visiting the family over the holidays is exactly that, a holiday. Going to Greece for the first time? Now that's a vacation.


A key component of any vacation for me is being physically separated from everyday life but also in this day and age being electronically unavailable. No cell phones, pagers, smart phones, e-mail or internet. There is nothing going on back at the office that can't wait for me to return and I've left explicit instructions for coverage if my vacation coincides with a project deadline of some kind. Until I return, "I know you're on vacation but this will only take a minute," will never have a chance to turn into an hour-long conference call. From the beach. In Rio. With sand in my biscuits.


The longest vacation I ever took spanned three weekends but really added up to about 12 days in Australia and New Zealand. I was ready to come home and more than paid the price for it when I opened my e-mail inbox the following Monday but who goes to the South Pacific for only a week. It almost takes that long to get there (mentally anyway).


A vacation is being able to not think about office politics or projects, about letting go completely without feeling guilty about leaving in the first place. If, that is, you can get it scheduled at all.


Gotta go.

The Trannies

Hah! And what exactly were you thinking this article would be about? since it portends to be a travel blog then hopefully some of you will know that "trannie" in this context is jargon for "Transcon" or transcontinental service of the nonstop kind from coast to coast. It could also refer to Transatlantic or Transpacific flights but rarely if ever would it refer to something like Transasian or Translatin. A flight from Buenos Aires or Rio to Santiago, Chile would be considered a transcon flight but the distance is not quite four hours of flying time and I'm not sure they even have the term in that part of the world. That said, let's take a look at the three we're most familiar with.

A transcon almost invariably refers to a domestic flight within the United States that leaves from one coast state, flies across the continent and arrives at another coastal state. The primary routes for this would be New York to California with other serious contenders being Boston and Washington, D.C. to California. Others qualify, such as Seattle to Miami or Atlanta to Portland but those markets tend to be smaller and, in the case of Atlanta, the city is not right on the water like Los Angeles, San Diego or San Francisco. Still, Georgia has a coastline so if the good people of the Peach State want to call their Atlanta to the West Coast flights transcons then who am I to begrudge them. Et tu, Charlotte.

The other two are not as US-centric although certainly the United States plays a large role in both markets. When one thinks of a transatlantic service it almost always means from somewhere in the United States to some place in Europe. That is not fair, however, to the other countries that also enjoy nonstop service across the ocean such as Brazil and even Peru, the latter of which supports a nonstop service to Madrid on Iberia. It makes sense the minute you think about it but there are still others as well, such as Buenos Aires to Frankfurt and even Sao Paulo to Cape Town, South Africa, probably one of the loneliest flights on the planet as it is the only regularly scheduled service across the South Atlantic at only three times per week.

Transpac is comparatively easy to decipher: the US and Canada to Asia and Australia/New Zealand. Or is it. What about the flights BETWEEN Asia and the Anzac Region? While vacationing in Auckland, not the largest market in the world, I found nonstop services on offer to Australia (duh), Korea, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Japan and Hong Kong, any one of which could get the average Kiwi the rest of the way to Europe. Wow. Compared to that spread Los Angeles seemed almost a token market despite being the largest of the lot after Australia.

There is a lot of commercial flying out there, a lot of it seemingly concentrated on North America but certainly a respectable amount of it connecting people and places with literally no connections to the United States (or Canada) whatsoever. Know what? If they don't make the headlines you can assume every last one of those flights operated just as safely, too.

Gotta go.

Debit Denied

I'm mad. That is certainly not how one wants to come home from a spectacular vacation but I'm mad just the same. I'm old enough to remember the days of stopping to get traveler's cheques before going overseas and having to plot where the nearest American Express office was to convert them at the best rates of exchange. Only fools and the rich used cash advances from their credit cards while overseas while the rest of us relied on cold, hard cash and the hotel safe. Today's traveler can use their debit cards for safety, convenience and attractive exchange rates but therein lies the problem and the reason for my anger.

In the ever evolving world of "fee-basing" I discovered upon returning home that an "International Transaction" fee was assessed each and every time I used my bank debit card. From as little as a 30-cent minimum to nearly $8, the fee ranged on the monetary value of the sale. The additional insult was my bank claimed innocence in the matter, that it was merely a pass-through from the local bank in the country I was visiting who assessed the fee in support of converting the currency values. They wanted a commission, basically, for electronically converting currencies at the point of sale. Please.

The additional mud in the eye was the fact that the "International Transaction" fee said no more than that. There was nothing tying it to the actual transaction for me to trace and either accept or challenge later. I mean, I used my debit card just to buy soda and popsicles at a convenience store - who keeps the receipt for something that simple and even if I did, how do I know which fee went with it? Not knowing about the fees before I departed exposed me to nearly $50 of unplanned charges against my bank account upon my return which, thankfully, I had funds to cover. Still, my blood boils at the thought of even one of those fees resulting in a $35 NSF fee from the bank. I was gone three weeks and used that card at least 4-6 times per day - do the math.

The real anger, though, came something like the third day in to the vacation when my card was suspended. You go on vacation, you make sure you have money in the bank to cover your expenses right? You go out of the country, however, and that suddenly flags as a major departure from your "normal spending pattern" which triggers an alert at the bank to shut the card down as a safety precaution. I checked my funds before I left, the card and account both were in good standing, I'm over 8,000 miles from home and have been suddenly cut off from my financial lifeline?

A few aggravating and agitated long-distance calls later and I've reached my bank, verified my identity and location and had the card reactivated. I'm good to go for the rest of the vacation. I accept their apology for the inconvenience and thank them for looking out for my financial security...but I'm still mad. And I've got an idea how to fix it, too.

Gotta go.

Ch'Ch Down But Not Out

The first time anyone visits the South Island of New Zealand easily better than 90% alight for the first time in Christchurch, Canterbury. It is the largest city on the South Island and second largest in the country behind Auckland with something just under 400,000 total residents. Auckland is like San Diego, generally quiet but wild at the weekend while Wellington is like San Francisco in nearly identical look and feel, missing only the Golden Gate Bridge to be a virtual dead ringer. Christchurch is an easy mix of old England charm with a ready resemblance to the Denver area thanks to the surrounding mountains. I mean, can you imagine Denver today with only 400,000 folks? Wow!

The second time I flew in Christchurch was merely the jumping off point for a driving tour along the west coast of the island via Arthur's Pass on the way to the Golden Bay area in the far north east corner. The first time, however, was a deliberate visit to the city to visit a local friend living in the area at the time. Christchurch, abbreviated Ch'ch for those who want to be like the locals, is not the place to go for nightlife and cutting edge much of anything. One goes there to escape from the relative mayhem of Auckland and be able to step out in to the "bush" for walks and river adventures. Want further proof? The huge green space in the middle of the city is Hagley Park, half of which is a golf course.

There are two river Avons, the more famous one through Stratford in England. The smaller, shallower one slides through the heart of Ch'ch, weeping willows bending low over the water almost touching the straw hats of the punters working canoes slowly, romantically through the heart of town. It is picture postcard perfect, the water a slight green, the curl around the Christchurch Cathedral under Worcester Street like something from Chaucer and all from a river a good decathlete could jump in hardly a bound.

The Cathedral is not the largest thing in the world but this is New Zealand where anything "flash" and over the top is never needed or appreciated, particularly in the conservative south of the country. It's a cathedral just the same and sits at the very center of town, a symbol of the city and as much a part of the hearts of the locals as St. Mary-le-Bow is to any Cockney from East London.

The Canterbury Crusaders are the local rugby "side" (team) with a very loyal following to go along with the many wines produced in the hills of the area that are world renowned among collectors. Others, including myself, came here for my first experience with jet boating, an activity right up there with bungee jumping and equally thrilling in its own right. The best conditions are a shallow river of no more than 12 inches of water plus a boat holding up to 16 people and powered by a Chevy 350 belching water from a propeller tube to give you up to 60 miles per hour over low rapids and along the canyon walls through endless donuts to the squeals and delights of tourists from all over the world. Just watch out when the driver twirls an extended index finger in a circular motion and hold on for thrilling dear life.

Christchurch is hurting now. My heart goes out to those in the area that have suffered from the most recent earthquake. I discovered though, that the people are resilient and strong in spirit. Ch'ch will be back soon I've no doubt of that. After all, they rebuilt the cathedral four times from previous temblors.

Gotta go.

Tahitian Time

If there is one island in the entire world that comes to mind ahead of all the rest as an exotic, dream vacation in paradise it is Tahiti. A wide stretch of white powdered sand, the endless aquamarine ocean before you, a cabana, an umbrella and your loved one at your side there was simply no more powerful image of getting away from it all than two weeks in Tahiti. I didn't have two weeks or a loved one but I went anyway. A co-worker at the time had connections with the airlines and I was able to score tickets for a dream come true weekend in the South Pacific.

I was looking forward to the flight on Air France as much as the destination and they didn't disappoint. After take-off the flight attendants changed in to Polynesian outfits while serving a meal of beef in wine sauce that few other airlines have matched before or since. The flight was on time and smooth, circling in to land at Fa'aa International Airport sooner than we expected.

My resort, the Moorea Pearl, was on the neighboring island of Moorea, "The Apple" because of its shape which could be flown in ten minutes or sailed in about an hour from the main island of Tahiti. I had a "half-beach" cabana, one of three they offered for the low-rent tourist. The others were completely over the water and charged accordingly but not so far from land that you were left feeling adrift in the shoals. The landside of my cabana featured an outdoor shower with a privacy wall along with at least one curious lizard sharing a stare with me and wondering who was more out of place.

The patio featured steps down in to the lagoon for a relaxing morning swim but I chose instead to join a snorkeling expedition a few miles off shore. Now this was as close to swimming in the wild Pacific as I had come to that point and was both nervous about the experience and body shy over swimming with a boat load of strangers. I got over both phobias and jumped in to the sea to find the kinds of fish usually seen in nature specials, Pixar films and Dr. Seuss primers. "I saw a red fish and a blue fish and a yellow fish...!"

I used my pigeon French to buy postcards and sat at the bar filling those out while listening to three couples across from me talk about their experiences thus far. One of the guys actually said he'd already forgotten what life was like being single! "Whipped," I thought to myself as I smiled and enjoyed the waning hours of my weekend away from the world.

There are no clocks on Tahiti, or at least in the resorts since you're not supposed to worry about time. I cajoled the desk clerk in to a 6AM wake-up call as I had to get off one island and over to the main one to catch my flight back to Los Angeles in time for work Monday morning. They did and I did.

Tahiti is many things, beautiful foremost among them but one thing it is not is geared for the single tourist. Newlyweds are all over the place, infatuated with themselves and each other and even the locals seem at a loss how to make a person traveling alone feel welcome, always asking where my wife was but I didn't mind. I wouldn't necessarily go back but anyone who asks I just tell them how I saw it.

Gotta go.

Just Pay the Freight......Please?

Air fares to Australia from the United States have traditionally been some of the highest in the world thanks to the nonstop duopoly that has existed in the market since Pan Am first ran the trip with the 747SP. Eliminating oh-dark-hundred red-eye fueling stops in Hawaii, Tahiti, Fiji or other such places was a premium folks were willing to pay and oh, how the airlines knew it. Until now.

Fact: For many reasons the global economy is dramatically down, business travel is both downgraded and down in general while discretionary travel feels virtually dried up.

Fact: Airlines “net” their revenues down to what’s left over after taxes and non-airline related surcharges and fees. Their argument is that the total fare is not what it seems.

Fact: Customers tend to look at the total outlay, regardless of who gets the money. Few are willing to pay extra to the airline just to match the government fees.

Oh, how the airlines know it. British Airways recently offered fares between New York and London for $156 each way which included nearly all government surcharges and also included two free nights in a central hotel. Competing airlines of course were forced to match the deal.

For its trouble British Airways got virtually nothing, paying out nearly every penny to the authorities and possibly on the hook to the hoteliers in to the bargain. Why? “The plane was going anyway,” meaning they won’t scrap underperforming flights that probably have other traffic booked already. They also hope to either break even or not lose as much as they could have and still secure repeat business in the future.

"Just pay the freight, please?" they beg. It's better to lose a shirt instead of the wardrobe. And flying to Australia now is literally a perfect storm disaster for the airlines and windfall for customers.

Stepped up competition to the South Pacific has certainly helped in addition to the sour economic outlook. If one doesn't mind going back to the good ol' days and stopping in Tahiti or Fiji, Air Tahiti Nui and Air Pacific, respectively, will happily pick up some extra sales. Otherwise, where there were once only two nonstop airlines, today Delta, Qantas, United, V-Australia and Air New Zealand all field nonstops to Australia or New Zealand. Each is absolutely begging for business with firesale rates to Down Under destinations. Since early this year Qantas, the way out in front leader in the marketplace, has had its hands full, changing its rates almost daily, swinging from $229 to $505 each way that I've seen so far.

The economy is in terrible shape. New competition is flooding the market with more seats than the market needs even in good times and some of those airlines (G'day, Qantas!) have massive new aircraft like the A380 to fill. These are the best of times....

Hotels, restaurants and car rental firms are of course equally in the basement. Two years ago roundtrip coach fares were approaching $2000, a total investment that today can easily cover the entire cost of the trip. My own ticket down and back, including Auckland, one domestic New Zealand leg and a flight across "The Ditch" to Sydney came in at barely half that. What?!

Gotta go!